Happy Birthday Love
by beyondthecrystalsea
Summary: Iruka is remembered on his birthday. "As long as one person remembers you, your never really gone. You can't be gone because I can't live without you." Death may come but love still stays. Remembering someone gone. comfort


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I know Iruka's birthday is in May but this is a present for my husband's birthday. I don't own Naruto but I wish I did. ( At least Iruka)

Happy Birthday Love! No one had to remind me that it was your birthday today. I knew as soon as I woke up this morning. I guess over the years we've done what every true couple tries to do. We've become one. Your special days are now my special days. Your joys are now my joys.

It wasn't always that way. I remember when we first met. You were such a dork, straight laced and proper. Always with your moral compass pointing North. Then layer by layer I uncovered the real you, passionate, loving, full of life. Maybe it was maturity or maybe familiarity, but you began to grow on me.

One of the things I miss most about you being gone is your moral compass. My compass tends to stray from North. Yes, I know good from bad, black from white, but life seems to hold a lot of gray without you.

I was going to go to the memorial stone today but then I decided that the day of your birth should be about remembering your life not your death. I'll remember the way you held my hand, your beautiful smile, your quick wit.

I don't know when I began to be attracted to you. We started out as friends and comrades. Our friendship grew into something deeper and richer. We shared similar ideals and interests. I've always admired your attention to detail. I'm more relaxed but we complement each other like ying and yang or two sides of the same coin. You've always brought out the best in me, believed in me, and encouraged me. You remind that I'm human and showed me to live life fully like you do.

Not that you're perfect. You do have a bit of a temper, Love. Your students used to say that when the red in your face reached your hair line it was time to run. I have to say the little buggers had you figured out. You are not a man to be trifled with.

Except by me. Because I'm yours and you are mine, and no one better forget it either. You always seemed so surprised when someone asked you out. You blushed that adorable way you have. You couldn't seem to see that we saw in you. But you always said no, because I found you first and I don't share.

Except with your students. I know of the love you had for your students. How you would work yourself to the bone because you knew it was best for **them**. I know of your joy when they finally grasped a concept, your pleasure in them realizing they **could** do more and be more than they ever thought. Those who can, do those who can do more, teach.

How the hell did I ever let me talk you into chaperoning? Now there's a trip. I remember standing beside you, hearing you yell yourself horse because some little hellion pushed our canoe away from the bank when we stopped for a break during the yearly canoe trip. There went our canoe down the creek, with you running after it. I'd have laughed if I wasn't afraid I'd have to walk the rest of the way back. The little monkeys stopped laughing when you pushed their canoe out after ours. Turnabout is fair play.

I also remember a few years later, the panic on your face when a canoe came into the dock empty with no sign of the students who were supposed to be in it. I remember how you moved heaven and earth to make sure they were safe. You out ran all of us to find them walking along the bank up river safe but cold and wet. I think you got a grey hair that day.

Our village is a better place because of you. You've left a legacy of young people who are now parents and sensei in their own right. Your legacy is love.

Today I want to savor your taste on my lips, the feel of your arms around me. I want to savor your life because later today I will remember your death. It was so unexpected. We were together enjoying just being together. You called my name and fell to the floor. I tried to save you. I beat on your chest, I breathed in your lips. I called for help, but in the end I had to watch you turn blue and fade away. Your heart was not big enough for all the things you wanted to do.

Thinking back, I shouldn't be surprised at the way you died. I thought you'd die on a mission; the life of a shin obi is always in peril, In the end I think you gave your heart away. You gave it to your students, your village, me, your friends, those you loved and held dear. Maybe hearts are only so big and you used yours up too fast. I don't know. I do know you're gone. I'll see you again someday, but until then life is dull and gray without you. I carry on.

Would it help you to know that you are still loved? Just about the time I think I'm the only one who remembers you, someone else remembers too. I still get stopped by your students telling me how much they miss you. They tell me how glad they are that you were in their life. Parents ask me how I am, and smile at the memory of what a special person you are. I'm glad they do, because as long as one person remembers you, you're not really gone. You can't be gone because I can't live without you. I can live without seeing you or touching you, because I know that one day we will be together. I just can't live without you. You are the best part of me. Without you there is no me, only an empty shell that goes on without direction or meaning.

So today I remember you and I remember the people who love you. I remember that I do have direction and meaning. I have your moral compass to guide me. I watch over the things you loved, your students, our village, and our friends. I carry on for you and me both, because one day I **will** see you again. I will take you in my arms and I will never let you go again. In heaven hearts are never too small for all the things they need to hold, and love goes on forever. That is the best birthday present of all.

Until I see you again, you have all my love,

Your Beloved

A/N Please review. I need your input. This was kind of hard to write. Thanks:)


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